Now what?

Taking care of your mental health is just important as budgeting your paycheck... You don't really really have to but things go smoothly when you do.

We discuss SO much in my therapist's office.  Career, motherhood, love life, my childhood...... It can be pretty heavy sometimes and it's work . Constant work. I distribute focus to the many narratives in my life not just a romantic relationship now. I noticed that when I got into a relationship it became my main narrative because it was the most important narrative in my life at that time. I had no other narratives I felt like controlled. Now, I have a couple more narratives I tend to. My son is my main concern. I discredited the role motherhood plays in my life and his. Now it's one of my main motivations. I have a plan for my career. I make plans to be around my family and friends. I'm perusing higher education despite the fact that I may actually go into debt 🙄. I have this online space to feed my fashion face and you guys to mingle with. I also know that none of these things contribute to my worthiness. They are what I choose to spend my time on because it is what's important to me and that comes from my very own personality. I'm worthy just because I'm me.

The work I've had to put in since I decided I don't want to continue down the same path is hard! Lol however I can stop myself from going into negative thought whirlspins now. That's something I didn't know I could do. I would go into deep depressions from the belief that I literally had no worth here. I've been suicidal. I was ready to go. I honestly believed that it would make no difference if I was on earth or not. Actually I believed it would be better if I just wasn't here at all.  I had to look back and decide I didn't want that anymore. I did want to be here. I know what I want going forward. Therapy can shed light on your blind spots and hold a mirror up so you can see your very own behavior patterns. If you're thinking about it, go for it.